I just re-read my post about my realizations about death and dying from last spring. I would say that I am still struggling with faith. However, my friend Erin told me something that I thought was really cool when I visited her in July. When her grandmother was dying, her mother left Grandma Nina's bedside to attend Erin's sister's college graduation. It was a difficult decision, but Nina really wanted them to go celebrate Lindsay's special moment. They returned and went straight to the hospital, and when Erin's mom was telling Nina about the ceremony, Nina interrupted her and said, "Yes, I know it was wonderful. But why was she wearing that blue cord around her neck?" Lindsay had been wearing a blue cord, for her sorority, with her cap and gown--but there's no way Nina would have known that! Erin and I agreed that it's cool to think of Nina being able to somehow have that knowledge as she neared death. I remember that around the time of night my grandmother died, I had a dream in which she gave me her lovely smile and said goodbye. She still appears in my dreams periodically. I like to think she's visiting me. Faith, after all, is a calming mechanism. It's the trust that when you die, you go to a better place, or are at peace. So I'm going to go ahead and keep believing, as much as I can, that death is OK. And I'm going to live a life modeled after my grandparents, who were kind, warm, intelligent, creative, expressive, and fun to be around! I want to be remembered that way. May life be long...