This week's Egan's script must have been written by the Coen Brothers and possibly Saint Francis of Assisi, patron saint of animal. I kid you not.
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We finished our first ever "Human Body Extravaganza" unit where we let the kids teach human body systems (jigsaw style--each table taught the other tables a system). My colleague and I thought the whole thing was "half baked" when we started...but eventually we found our way. The kids came on their daily cable news to say that the 7th Grade science teachers had hatched a "genius" plan to let them teach for a couple of weeks. Each group was responsible for a powerpoint, a creative activity, a lab activity, homework, daily brainsnacks and a quiz. The reflection essays poured in this week and they were happy to be the "guinea pigs" for future sevies! To watch them at the front of the class, running the show, trying to get the kids' attention with my bodhran (Celtic tambourine), Buzz Light Year wand, train whistles, dinner bell...etc. was priceless. Pay back time. For 3 weeks. Heh heh heh. One teaching group finally bribed their audience with candy (which I rarely do--I prefer to use extra credit) but were freaked when the entire 7th period class stormed and trampled them as they hoisted the 5 pound bag from its hiding place. The merits and misfortunes of sugar were discussed at length in the 7th period reflection essays. This latest crop of sevies sure talks a lot, but they do write well!
Meanwhile, this unseasonably warm weather (please call it global climate disruption, NOT global warming!) has spawned more than birds migrating tin he wrong direction--the kids' hormonal and circadian rhythms appear to be completely out of whack. [This next section has been censored to protect those adolescents who will look back on junior high in total and complete mortification.]
At the level of the district, 2.6 million dollars are being slashed and pink slips may fly. I was put in charge of finding a venue for our union's annual TGIF and I was told to do it ASAP because teachers need a beer BEFORE they get their pink slip. The state is in more a miasma than our school board and we are all in a state of confusion. 2 o'dark:30 meetings just kicked up the anxiety a tad, but they did clarify what we are being asked to give up. We'll be partying down at the sportsbar in the meanwhile...
The week culminated in a 3:30 Friday formal wedding between 2 leopard geckos of unknown gender, Ramses and Honey. This was the brainchild of the animal caretaker kids, not We the Teachers. I felt partially responsible for this--I had given Honey to Curt (my courageous colleague) as a replacement for his beloved Caledonia (a kid managed to crush her pelvis by accidentally dropping her "cave" on her--she died shortly thereafter). Yes, it's true; I "introduced" them! Formal invitations were sent out (within the science department). Curt's room was arranged like a church with an aisle--we even had assigned seating--and Curt himself was dressed hippie-style for the Tie Dye Dance he was supposed to chaperone that night. He added a cross on top of his peace pendant and became the High Priest. There were ring bearers, flower girls, another gecko named Jeckyl as best man, and one of my students held the bible for our priest to read from (which was damn difficult because he forgot his reading glasses): "Leopard Geckos for Dummies", Chapter 9, verse 1: "It may be difficult to tell a girl from a boy..." Curt had just the right timing on the whole Priest Parlance. Curt and I looked at each other and we were laughing so hard that we were crying. All the animal caretaker kids and a couple of my TAs were in attendance (they came for the free food and to get out of grading frog dissection packets) along with 3 of 4 science teachers and 2 older siblings (now in high school) who rolled their eyes the whole time. Also in attendance were all the other animals--in fact, the entire Ark was present. I held Romun the Praying Mantis who boxed at the nearby lizards. My TAs held Mushu and Gizzard, my phat lizards; Damon, my colleague, had Vesona the Anorexic Garter snake around his neck. The other snakes were held by other students, and one student sat in the back with the fish and spider tanks perched precariously on his lap. Somebody else had my toad Koko who kept trying to leap away--she/he didn't want anything to do with these geckos. She can object all she wants, she is the wrong species (Physignathus cocinus) and can't jockey for position with Ramses. Gizzard the Constipated Bearded Dragon threatened to relieve himself on a boy's lap, so he was given back to me. A girl whispered to me that Mushu was "objecting", so I assisted Mushu in raising her front leg in objection to the union. A girl from the chess team filmed the entire ceremony with the animals getting most of the coverage (Thank Ganesha). The Giving Away of the Groom provided some really great histrionics from the "OPM" (OverProtective Mother) of the groom (Ramses' caretaker). Then the geckos "kissed" from their royal pillows, Honey swatted at Ramses and we all rejoiced. Reception Time! The wedding planners blasted some seriously overplayed Coldplay and we all tucked in to the artfully arranged stale Girl Scout cookies and Super Sucrose cakes in the back (AFTER we put the Ark back to bed and washed our hands!). One of my boys ate so much he almost upchucked. The girls' shrieking sent the boys into the relative quiet of my room until their parents could pick them up. Curt said we might all end up on the kid-produced cable school news. Lava, my laid back and low key cornsnake (he's never bitten anyone!), certainly hopes not; he doesn't like to draw any attention to himself. I think they are now planning an engagement party for Bart and Freddy the hypermelanistic cornsnakes (we are SURE of their gender and have watched Freddy make overtures towards Bart). Bart was thought to be a boy for years but she had her first clutch of eggs last year and proved us wrong. Laidback Lava reportedly yawned and said, "Yeah, sure I'll go if there's mice on ice at the reception...".
Peace Out!
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We finished our first ever "Human Body Extravaganza" unit where we let the kids teach human body systems (jigsaw style--each table taught the other tables a system). My colleague and I thought the whole thing was "half baked" when we started...but eventually we found our way. The kids came on their daily cable news to say that the 7th Grade science teachers had hatched a "genius" plan to let them teach for a couple of weeks. Each group was responsible for a powerpoint, a creative activity, a lab activity, homework, daily brainsnacks and a quiz. The reflection essays poured in this week and they were happy to be the "guinea pigs" for future sevies! To watch them at the front of the class, running the show, trying to get the kids' attention with my bodhran (Celtic tambourine), Buzz Light Year wand, train whistles, dinner bell...etc. was priceless. Pay back time. For 3 weeks. Heh heh heh. One teaching group finally bribed their audience with candy (which I rarely do--I prefer to use extra credit) but were freaked when the entire 7th period class stormed and trampled them as they hoisted the 5 pound bag from its hiding place. The merits and misfortunes of sugar were discussed at length in the 7th period reflection essays. This latest crop of sevies sure talks a lot, but they do write well!
Meanwhile, this unseasonably warm weather (please call it global climate disruption, NOT global warming!) has spawned more than birds migrating tin he wrong direction--the kids' hormonal and circadian rhythms appear to be completely out of whack. [This next section has been censored to protect those adolescents who will look back on junior high in total and complete mortification.]
At the level of the district, 2.6 million dollars are being slashed and pink slips may fly. I was put in charge of finding a venue for our union's annual TGIF and I was told to do it ASAP because teachers need a beer BEFORE they get their pink slip. The state is in more a miasma than our school board and we are all in a state of confusion. 2 o'dark:30 meetings just kicked up the anxiety a tad, but they did clarify what we are being asked to give up. We'll be partying down at the sportsbar in the meanwhile...
The week culminated in a 3:30 Friday formal wedding between 2 leopard geckos of unknown gender, Ramses and Honey. This was the brainchild of the animal caretaker kids, not We the Teachers. I felt partially responsible for this--I had given Honey to Curt (my courageous colleague) as a replacement for his beloved Caledonia (a kid managed to crush her pelvis by accidentally dropping her "cave" on her--she died shortly thereafter). Yes, it's true; I "introduced" them! Formal invitations were sent out (within the science department). Curt's room was arranged like a church with an aisle--we even had assigned seating--and Curt himself was dressed hippie-style for the Tie Dye Dance he was supposed to chaperone that night. He added a cross on top of his peace pendant and became the High Priest. There were ring bearers, flower girls, another gecko named Jeckyl as best man, and one of my students held the bible for our priest to read from (which was damn difficult because he forgot his reading glasses): "Leopard Geckos for Dummies", Chapter 9, verse 1: "It may be difficult to tell a girl from a boy..." Curt had just the right timing on the whole Priest Parlance. Curt and I looked at each other and we were laughing so hard that we were crying. All the animal caretaker kids and a couple of my TAs were in attendance (they came for the free food and to get out of grading frog dissection packets) along with 3 of 4 science teachers and 2 older siblings (now in high school) who rolled their eyes the whole time. Also in attendance were all the other animals--in fact, the entire Ark was present. I held Romun the Praying Mantis who boxed at the nearby lizards. My TAs held Mushu and Gizzard, my phat lizards; Damon, my colleague, had Vesona the Anorexic Garter snake around his neck. The other snakes were held by other students, and one student sat in the back with the fish and spider tanks perched precariously on his lap. Somebody else had my toad Koko who kept trying to leap away--she/he didn't want anything to do with these geckos. She can object all she wants, she is the wrong species (Physignathus cocinus) and can't jockey for position with Ramses. Gizzard the Constipated Bearded Dragon threatened to relieve himself on a boy's lap, so he was given back to me. A girl whispered to me that Mushu was "objecting", so I assisted Mushu in raising her front leg in objection to the union. A girl from the chess team filmed the entire ceremony with the animals getting most of the coverage (Thank Ganesha). The Giving Away of the Groom provided some really great histrionics from the "OPM" (OverProtective Mother) of the groom (Ramses' caretaker). Then the geckos "kissed" from their royal pillows, Honey swatted at Ramses and we all rejoiced. Reception Time! The wedding planners blasted some seriously overplayed Coldplay and we all tucked in to the artfully arranged stale Girl Scout cookies and Super Sucrose cakes in the back (AFTER we put the Ark back to bed and washed our hands!). One of my boys ate so much he almost upchucked. The girls' shrieking sent the boys into the relative quiet of my room until their parents could pick them up. Curt said we might all end up on the kid-produced cable school news. Lava, my laid back and low key cornsnake (he's never bitten anyone!), certainly hopes not; he doesn't like to draw any attention to himself. I think they are now planning an engagement party for Bart and Freddy the hypermelanistic cornsnakes (we are SURE of their gender and have watched Freddy make overtures towards Bart). Bart was thought to be a boy for years but she had her first clutch of eggs last year and proved us wrong. Laidback Lava reportedly yawned and said, "Yeah, sure I'll go if there's mice on ice at the reception...".
Peace Out!
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